How to Cherish Your Daughter
by Gargi Mehra
Carve out fillets of haddock, and marinate them in spices but not the salt from your tears. When they’ve stewed for a few hours, wield each slice like it were a swimmer from your club, one who thrashes around in a pool of egg before emerging and drying itself upon a blanket of panko. Let the swimmer now dive into a vat full of hot oil and deep fry itself. Remove with tongs when golden-fried. Lay it on a quarter plate, with a dollop of mayo and hopes on one side. Serve it to your daughter for breakfast. Two weeks later, exhume it from under the carpet while vacuuming, slathered in threads and rug tissue.
For the best jam sandwich, take one lightly toasted bread and smear butter upon its surface along with your dreams. Don’t rest on your laurels now – slap on some jam upon the layer of butter. Conjure up another slice of bread exactly the same. Offer it upon your daughter’s favourite plate. Watch her grab a distracted bite before heading out to dribble a basketball with her friends. When work has all but choked your spirit, dig out the mould-leaden piece from behind the bed. Scrub the spot where it had tethered itself to the wall and permitted a colony of ants to erect their own little hill.
Dive into the cesspool online and discover recipe reels. Stumble upon a fantastic new chutney – you just know your princess will simply smack it off her fingers. (Remember how she would blend sauces in a bowl until they whirlpooled like your mind?)
Scan the shelves of the local supermarket for the ingredients and a jar of parenting expertise. In the warmth of your kitchen, cut-chop-saute-fry-sizzle, then dunk them all into a mixer.
When your finger’s poised on the button, and the girl strolls in all curly-haired and rosy-chinned, answer the accusation she hurls at you.
Is that something you are planning to feed me?
Comfort her that the mixture is destined not for her lunchbox, but for her satiny tresses. Deceive her by spieling its many miraculous effects.
Watch her brighten at the idea and skip away. Hunt her down in her room and mix it into her scalp. Help her choose an outfit for the party by tsking at every garment she whips out of her closet. Slink away from her at the venue and join your friends. Imagine her checking out the cloakroom mirror, and gasping when she glimpses the witch from that show, drenched in black with her hair pasted to her head.
Tinker with the drink in your hand, swirling the bubbles until they pop. Feel your heart plop to your abdomen, when she seeks you out and utters some choice words into your ears.
When she sashays out, tell your friends what a sweet girl she is.
Back home, toss your recipe books in the trash. Find your favourite floral box of tissues, and plant it on your nightstand before sleeping.
Gargi Mehra works in IT and moonlights as a creative writer. Her work has appeared in numerous literary magazines, including Crannog, The Forge Literary Magazine, The Writer, and others. She lives in Pune, India with her husband and two children. She blogs at www.gargimehra.com
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What surprising, fascinating stuff can you tell us about the origin, drafting, and/or final version of “How to Cherish Your Daughter”? I don’t know if it’s really surprising, but the delinquent daughter who keep stuffing her mother’s lovingly-made goodies in odd places, is me! My mother is a fantastic cook so I have no idea why I did that, but I remember doing it and she has narrated her tales of woe to me quite often.
I had noted those two incidents but hadn’t been able to come up with a story idea, until one day it struck me that I should write in the form of instructions. The first draft flowed out in a rush, and over the next couple of months I revised and edited it as best I could. My story was out only with Matter Press and accepted within 3 days!
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