CNF: Torah Study
by Robin Neidorf
We come to Her at each new moon; She has been waiting for us nearly 6,000 years. Rabbi Jill helps us unspool the arguments of Rabbi Eliezer and Rabbi Yehoshua. Our text today reflects spring’s emergence in an older part of the world while wet snow streaks my window. Feasting and fasting, exile and return, slavery and redemption. Hebrew on the right, English on the left. There are no vowels to help our tongues pass from consonant to consonant. We stumble over syllables like kissing adolescents. Tumah is a word we struggle to use without our post-modern brains hearing all of the shame of unclean. I try errata – a human error, easily corrected. Wendy offers misaligned – a car’s suspension in need of a tune-up. Tricia shakes her head – is it even possible to unwind the wiring of words – IN THE CENTER IS THE TEXT – from inherited judgments? Through it all, She is patient with us; after all, She has already been waiting nearly 6,000 years. Waiting to teach us which portion of lamb’s blood is to be burnt, why we count to forty and what to do when we get there, what justice looks like when your cart runs over your neighbor’s ass. Each word is an action bound by law or custom, when to bow forward and when to bounce on tiptoes when to dip greens when to sip wine when to illuminate with two candles and when with eight. Susie marvels: Plagues take time, and our three heads nod in agreement. Every rule is gentled with the reminder that our lives are to be a blessing: We are made, my darlings, for this pleasure. She has been waiting for us nearly 6,000 years.
Robin Neidorf is a writer of creative nonfiction and poetry living in Minneapolis. Her work has been published online by the blog of the Best American Poetry, TC Jewfolk and Postpartum. She holds an MFA from the Bennington Writing Seminars and is currently working on essays relating to her two decades of volunteering in the Jewish community.
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What surprising, fascinating stuff can you tell us about the origin, drafting, and/or final version of “Torah Study”? My friend Susie had wanted to start a women’s Torah Study group for many months, and we finally arranged our first meeting to take place at the end of March 2020. During the pandemic, our monthly Zoom sessions have become a safe haven of reflection. The process of picking through layers of text going back several centuries to find wisdom has provided perspective on our times. For several months, I’ve been trying to write about the study group but had a hard time finding the right entry point. Then, in last session’s reading of verses and commentary about the exodus from Egypt, Susie said, “Plagues take time.” The rest came from there.
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Submissions
Poetry, creative nonfiction, and fiction/prose poetry submissions are now closed. The reading period for standard submissions opens again September 15, 2025. Submit here.
Upcoming
05/04 • Leath Tonino
05/11 • Chris Pellizzari
05/18 • Chris Clemens
05/25 • Clayton Eccard
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