A (Condensed) Dictionary of Mythological Characters

by Rachel Rodman

Adonis-Argus
          He was a beautiful youth, possessed of 100 eyes. But he scorned women, preferring cows.

Oedipus-Orpheus
          He consigned his mother to Hell. But then he looked back, as he exited the pit, and perceived that he desired her.

Pandora-Phaeton
          From the box, while her father slept, she released the sun, which burned all the world.

Priapus-Procrustes
          To humanity, he gave the gift of penis standardization. He cut penises that were too long and stretched penises that were too short. After that, all men were the same.

Saturn-The Sirens
          To his sons, he sang haunting lullabies. Then he devoured them.

Rachel Rodman’s fiction has appeared in Daily Science Fiction, Grievous Angel, On the Premises, and other places. You can link to more of her published fiction (and equally weird non-fiction) here: rachelrodman.com.

What surprising, fascinating stuff can you tell us about the origin, drafting, and/or final version of “A (Condensed) Dictionary of Mythological Characters”?

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